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English language (monolingual) [Non-PRO] General / Conversation / Greetings / Letters
English term or phrase:Pride-ish life
I'm translating a short video clip from Persian into English, which is going to be uploaded to some social media platforms for the English-speaking audience. It's a 1-minute movie in which the head of a gang is giving his fellow thugs a pep talk. At one point, he has a line which, roughly, literally translate to:
"You deserve better than a Pride-ish life. Benz and BMW isn't your dream, it's a (your) necessity."
Pride is a really crappy and yet widely owned car in Iran. Its poor build quality makes it a very unsafe car. It holds the top record in traffic accident fatalities. It is a relatively cheap car generally owned by the low-middle class. You don't buy it because you like it. You buy it because you can't afford a better option. This car is sort of seen by the Iranians as the symbol of a crappy life they are being submitted to. It's actually common to hear people denying Pride as a car: "it's a Pride, not a car".
With that background, I'm looking for a suitable equivalent that would have a similar connotation for the English-peaking audience. It doesn't have to be a car brand or model, however it's preferred if there is indeed such an infamous candidate that the target English audience can relate to, since the dialogue goes on to compare Benz and BMW as symbols of a better life.
Thanks everyone in advance for your time and help.
Explanation: I don't think there's one brand that's universally associated with poor quality. So I suggest:
You deserve better. Your life should be a Lamborghini, not a lawnmower.
-------------------------------------------------- Note added at 4 days (2019-08-23 15:52:36 GMT) --------------------------------------------------
In answer to your additional question, I don't recommend replacing "lawnmower" with "old banger" unless your text is for the British market. Your job is to keep the translation flowing, so that the viewer doesn't notice it. If you suddenly introduce an incongruity, you lose their attention.
Whether or not you can or want to use Lamborghini depends on the degree of "domestication."
I've read that while there are some Mercedes-Benz cars driving in Iran (though they are mucb more expensive that in western Europe), there aren't any Lamborghini cars at all. In fact, an engineering team recently built a replica of one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uN1nK50-xA
That's what I meant by reaching for the stars: Getting a Mercedes is improbable but not impossible. Getting a Lamborghini basically is.
I wholeheartedly agree with this statement by B D Finch: "...primary meaning is about social status..."
If you think a Lamborghini car gets the message across better than a Mercedes could, go for it. If you think that's a bridge too far, don't.
It's part of the reason why suggestions like Reliant Robin don't work well, IMO. Say you'd be translating this into German, not English. I'd never think of using Trabant in this case--it's highly unlikely some street thug in Iran has seen one before.
I actually kind of liked Phil's "moving coffin." I really don't know whether that works in the UK, but an ugly, unsafe car could also be described as a "tin can death trap."
It's set in present, 2019. I think I'm gonna go with philgoddard's answer. It fits in with the rest of the dialogue. Also, the client is asking for a final version, so I'm running out of time.
One word that still trips me up is "mad." I'm never sure whether someone just called someone else crazy or thinks he or she is just angry.
What I've noticed over the past decade or two (though maybe that's just my experience) is that more and more UK/IE actors are getting roles in American TV shows and movies. Sometimes, this means you understand most of the movie but not all of it =)
I guess this just illustrates (similar to what you said) how hard it will be to find something that is going to be understood in all corners of the globe.
I stand corrected. It's yet another example of a difference between UK and US English. I am constantly finding that things I thought were written by a non-native speaker are correct in US English. The latest example is "Please wait momentarily". Every time that appeared on my computer screen I used to mutter "Why didn't they employ a proper translator or proofreader," but now I know it's US English I still find it irritating.
As for "...the abbreviated form is Mercedes, not Benz." and "...the shortened form of Mercedes Benz is 'Mercedes,' never 'Benz'," that may be true in the UK.
You're on to the point about "'some means of motorized transport that is beneath the dignity of". However, the "a real thug'" part is, although true on the surface, not exactly what the director explained to me. The director's use of thugs [perhaps "thug" or "gang" was a bit of a strong choice of words on my part] or outlaws to deliver the speech is a means of challenging the established order. The message he is trying to communicate is indeed directed to the youth generation who is repressed and perhaps even depressed. The dignity in question belongs to them. Nonetheless, I agree with you that we should settle for a generic equivalent that fits the purpose.
Mercedes is commonly referred to as "Benz" in Iran, and I intentionally retained it in the literal translation to help illustrate the context better. But I see your point. The car prices have inflated in recent years. The cheapest Pride costs something above $4000 nowadays. Your average Iranian worker makes something around $200 per month.
... this is the decision I’ll have to make. They want a domesticated [“globalized” is probably the more accurate term] translation, even if I’ll have to make changes throughout the entire dialogue to achieve that.
Thank you for providing the references. I was hoping a car related equivalent could be found, however, after reading the answers and the comments, it seems like that might not be an option. So, you're right about using adjectives or a more generic expression or equivalent. You're also on to the point about the audience. The client hasn’t specified any country or locale because they won’t be targeting any. They want to disseminate the dubbed movie online “for the English-speaking audience” [Their quote]. You brought up a really interesting point about the difference between reaching for the stars and wanting a better life. The message the movie is trying to get through to the Iranian audience is indeed about changing things for a better life. However, the same way the medium it uses to convey that message [crappy Pride] is too source-specific that finding a similar car-related equivalent is challenging and hence we’ll have to settle for a more generic one, the concepts would(?) inevitably become more implicit and generic – wanting a better life becomes reaching for the stars. Something might be getting lost in translation here, but given the overall skopos stated by the client, ...
In any case, the car platform is at least a decade if not two decades old. Putting lipstick on a pig, you could say; even if the car just rolled out of the factory, it's outdated.
Moreover, upgrading from Mercedes to Lamborghini could have far-reaching implications for the movie, even if it isn't that obvious; there is a difference between reaching for the stars and wanting a better life (thug or no thug).
As an aside, your statement about Wartburg is wildly inaccurate. That was the car that the "ruling class" could get and even the West German press praised it. Sure you didn't want to say Trabant?
Third, even if used figuratively, a phrase like this (and Phil's is not a standard expression) doesn't exist in a vacuum. It is part of everyone's socialization, if you will. That a gang of thugs would even think about lawnmowers or taking a Reliant Robin out for a spin is a bit far-fetched, IMO; I thought context mattered.
Add to that the fact that this movie is about Iran, not the UK, not the US, and I think you need to be careful about how many language "transplants" you want to get in there.
On top of this, when you subtitle and dub movies you often need to follow certain rules, one of them being that you can make some adjustments but you should stay somewhat close to the original.
Completely rewriting the script wouldn't be helpful to me (as said, you need to think about what comes after this scene) and I don't think it is to the asker.
I don't know what's with all those underhanded insults lately; I'm not the only one who disagreed with your answer.
In fact, I really appreciate most of your explanations. This doesn't mean I can't disagree.
First off, I wasn't the one talking about Mercedes and Benz; that was Phil.
There's nothing "slavishly literal" about "a piece of junk" (an oft-heard phrase on American TV). I didn't suggest a brand, for good reason, IMO.
A couple of points:
In your response to Tina, you said: "Yet the source text did use a brand name to conjure up the same notion..."
It did because the movie was produced in Iran and it's about Iran. You cannot compare the (limited) geographical distribution of Farsi to that of English.
Second, the kind of car he described doesn't really exist in the "Western world" anymore. Going back to one that almost no one drives nowadays in most parts of the world (Lada) can't be the answer.
The same is true for a car that isn't well-known outside the UK (Reliant Robin). They tried getting it onto the US market...they gave up after manufacturing five(!) cars.
I think we have to accept that in the source language, perhaps Mercedes are referred to as 'Benz' — all that matters is that it is right in the target language!
And I think you also have to get away from being quite so slavishly literal — I think it is clear that the speaker is referring to 'some means of motorized transport that is beneath the dignity of a real thug' — and the Reliant and the lawnmower both fit that bill admirably, in a figurative sense.
The asker also said: "...since the dialogue goes on to compare Benz and BMW as symbols of a better life..."
Do you expect him to rewrite the entire dialog, so he can compare a Diablo with a Gallardo?
I also don't know, and that's the same issue I have with a tricycle-like car, how the head of a gang of street thugs (presumably) could possibly be talking about lawnmowers =)
I thought the Tata Indica/MG City Rover could make the list: "When Rover introduced the CityRover in 2003, the company famously refused to lend one for Top Gear to test. That says all you need to know about the car, which was overpriced, under-equipped, poorly built and dull as dishwater. After two years the CityRover – and Rover itself – were no more." https://www.carthrottle.com/post/10-of-the-worst-british-car...
Considering the parameters of your question (that is, gang/thugs, crappy small car, unsafe to drive but affordable and widely owned), I'm not sure whether you wouldn't be better off using adjectives (just as you did, including rusty).
Explanation: I understand the writer’s sentiment. As an immigrant who turned over a new leaf by coming to live in prosperous America, there’s a justifiable need to show off and show the before (poor life) and after (rich life) effects of his life-changing decision.